Finding a family

By Master Sgt. Matthew Bates

Air Force Wounded Warrior program offers Airman a second chance at service

To the casual observer, Rafael Morfinenciso seems like a healthy, normal individual. He doesn’t limp when he takes his dog on walk, he doesn’t have any scars or burns covering portions of his body and he looks like someone who knows his way around a gym.

But beneath this calm exterior, Morfinenciso is at war. He’s not battling a foreign foe or an extremist militia. To find this enemy, all he has to do is look in the mirror — and there, just behind the wide smile and the steady gaze and just under the athletic physique lies a rival so determined, Morfinenciso spends most days locked in a struggle against it.

And, some days, he loses.

Hello Rafael. Meet Depression.

“I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder,” he said. “Basically, I find myself just sad all the time and I typically seclude myself from everyone and won't want to talk to anyone because I feel like people give me that look like I’m sick.”

This depression didn’t materialize out of nowhere. It was born out of a sense of failure, weakness and lost dreams.

“I was actually in the TAC-P (tactical air control party) pipeline and I got injured,” he said. “They said my injuries were too severe to continue and I found myself in a med board and placed on the temporary disability retired list as a senior airman. So I was no longer an active part of the Air Force, I wasn’t going to be a special operator and I found myself suddenly home alone doing nothing.”

He wasn’t alone for long — the darkness came, suitcase in tow, ready to take up residence in his mind.

“Being an active individual … I ran marathons, mixed martial arts, skydive … and now I’m sitting at home, alone, and that’s when I started going to the dark places in my mind,” Morfinenciso said.

Then, one conversation changed his life.

It was with a representative from the Air Force Wounded Warrior program, who told Morfinenciso he should join.

“At first I was hesitant,” he said. “I was like I’m not a wounded warrior, I have all my body parts and I don’t deserve to be part of this.”

The representative didn’t take no for an answer and eventually convinced Morfinenciso to give the program a try.

Now, two years later, he’s all in.

“Joining this program was the single best thing that helped me in my recovery,” he said.

“I’ve met amazing people who are now my friends and when I’m not participating in a AFW2 event, I’m looking forward to when the next one is.”

There are intangibles the program offers, too. Morfinenciso can talk to fellow wounded warriors and know they understand what he’s going through, because many are going through the same situations.

“I can’t explain how important that is,” he said. “To just be able to be yourself without worrying about being judged or misunderstood is such a great thing … and this is really the only place I’m able to do that.”

It’s not just he camaraderie Morfinenciso feeds off. He also appreciates the drive and inspiration of his fellow competitors.

“So I'm blown away by some of these guys that I've met,” he said. “Just seeing how much they can do and the fact that they're not quitting and they're not allowing a disability to cripple them. I always tell myself if he's doing that what's my freakin excuse. So seeing people that have it harder than me doing all these things and overcoming all these obstacles, it’s truly inspirational.”

This inspiration has allowed Morfinenciso to perform at a high level, too. This year he will be representing the Air Force for the second time at the Department of Defense Wounded Warrior Games from June 1-9 at the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He will be competing in several events, including the shot put, air rifle, powerlifting and discus.

“It’s an honor and I just want to go out there and represent the Air Force to the best of my ability,” he said. “But at the end of the day it’s a special opportunity because I get to wear the Air Force symbol and feel like I’m part of it again.”

This is what the program is all about — bringing wounded warriors together, giving them a sense of purpose and belonging and teaching them new ways to cope with, adapt to and overcome physical and mental limitations.

For Air Force leaders, the program shows the importance of taking care of Airmen — including those who gave much in the name of service.

“The testimonials we continue to hear from athletes who participate with the program and who have competed in previous years, or are competing now for the first time, shows us that the work we are doing has value and impact,” said Lt. Gen. Gina Grosso, Air Force deputy chief of staff for Manpower and Personnel Services. “Hearing people say how this program saved their life – the connection between adaptive sports and recovery has become increasingly evident. Simply put, it is incredibly clear to me how instrumental these programs are in the recovery process for our nation’s warriors and their families.”

Morfinenciso appreciates this sentiment and understands just how important the AFW2 program is.

“This program saved my life,” he said. “Without it, I don’t know if I’d still be here.”

The dark thoughts have now been replaced with shiny new ones — ones of belonging, hope and happiness.

“Sure, I’m doing a lot better now, but I still have bad days,” Morfinenciso said.

But now, when the darkness creeps back in, when he stares at it in his reflection, he is no longer on his own. Now, fighting alongside him is a network of fellow wounded warriors, coaches, caregivers and health professionals.

Hello Rafael. Meet your new family.

“Being part of this program and feeling accomplished and having your fellow warriors cheer you on … it lets you feel like you're a winner,” Morfinenciso said. “And you know what? Even if you lose, people still motivate you and, ultimately, that's all that matters. We're all here just to share this experience with each other and represent the Air Force and just learn to live with what we have and make the best of it.”